Al's Views, Personal Thoughts


What Do I Do With This Anger?
August 02, 2002

Dear Al,

I am so angry at my brother who lives elsewhere. Recently, after our father passed on, he has evidently worked to gain the upper hand regarding the disbursement of dad's assets. It's not the money that bothers me, but rather what he did and how he did it. How can I deal with all this anger?

Dear angry;

May I share with you how I deal with anger?

  1. First, I come to full grips with my anger. It's very important that I actually come to understand the full force and breadth of my anger.
  2. Once I've acknowledged my anger, I work to understand how this anger is not healthy for me. I acknowledge consciously at that time how it is not good for me to harbor and nurture such anger within myself,
  3. Then I consciously decide to give this anger up--
    • I don't want it
    • I don't need it
    • I won't have it!
    • I won't keep it!
  4. I then decide to pass this anger on to someone else who can deal with it. I give it to God, to Jesus, the Holy Spirit. They alone are qualified to deal with such anger--no one else can. If the object of my anger deserves to be punished, then who else better to affect that punishment than the Lord? Not I!
You have to give up that anger. Cry it out, pray it out, give it to God, the creator of all the cosmic forces that ebb and embrace every one of us, for if you continue to harbor this anger, it will surely consume you.

My former wife once told me that she would rather not be on my bad side. To that I replied, "Why? I don't try to get even with anyone who does me wrong? Do I?" To that she replied, "No, but when you decide that you're done with someone, you turn around and walk away. To you they no longer exist!"

Again, I give it over to He that made me. I have no need of such anger. Hope this is of some help to you in your time of anger.

Al Colombo

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Allan B. Colombo

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